so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
