Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I got inside last night via doggy door
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
