Please, let me fuck your mom
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
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