i just had sex bonerless
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
