My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We don't watch enough power rangers
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
