God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
