haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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