No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
