Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
