I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Less talking, more tequila
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
