I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
