he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
