All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
