We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
