easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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