Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Never underestimate the power of titties
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