we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
