Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
