I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
