My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
