I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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