Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I got her a Nickelback box set.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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