AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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