i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
