y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
