Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
