Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
