so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
