he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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