I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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