What a fucking waste of an outfit
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
