We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
