There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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