one might say we're banned from that church
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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