He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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