You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
