no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
