I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
