WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
