I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
