Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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