I think i peed on brittanys purse
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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