I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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