Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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