Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
