I'm so fucking centered right now
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
