That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize