At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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