I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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