wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
