Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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