I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
