How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
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