those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
