508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
