very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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