Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Come on in and take your pants off
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