Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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