Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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