If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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