Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
