I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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