Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
