I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
