i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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