Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
