"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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